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Apr
4th
Fri
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FUCK YEAH JURASSIC WORLD CONCEPT ART!

A couple of Jurassic World concept art photos have been going around the internetz this week. They were created by Nathan Schroeder, who worked on The Avengers, Start Trek, and The Hunger Games. Sounds promising, right? NOPE!

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Ugh, I DO NOT LIKE futuristic Isla Nublar and I could care less if this gets annihilated by dinosaurs.

The buildings look a little too Star Trek meets Sea World, which is a terrible, terrible thing. This probably means most of this stuff will be CGI and NOT like the first Jurassic Park where everything was built and real and cool and rad. Hire some real engineers and build some real shit, GUYS!!!!!

(Remember when they CGI’d the fuck out of everything in Jurassic Park 3 and it turned out to be a disaster? DON’T REPEAT THAT!)

The pictures also show some monorails, which is kinda cool because I’m totally down to see dinos destroy a place that looks like Disneyland. But what’s with the weird Bora-Bora tik houses on the ocean? That’s not the vibe I was expecting. Like, at all.

I really want low-key, moss-covered, jungle-set, safari-like shit going on. Stop making Isla Nublar look like a fucking mall in Dubai!!!!

Here are some interior shots of these buildings:

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Better, but very cathedral-y. Am I crazy to hate any of this? 

I just want this to be amazing. I want my dinosaurs to demolish some rad-looking structures I actually give a shit about, ok?

Hurry up June 2015.
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Mar
20th
Thu
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10 BEST AND WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2013

I scouted a bunch of multiplexes for the past year and made the list below! Check it out to see what’s bedroom wall worthy and what’s garbage bound! Best and worst movie posters of 2013, yo’welcome:

—- 10 11 BEST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2013

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11. American Hustle - J.Law is one of many in this series of characters posters from American Hustle and she’s fucking killing it. Boobs/Hair/Lips ALL THE THINGS making me go straight for a hot second.


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10. Spring Breakers - Here’s everything you need to be a total slut, go on a crime-spree, and be a drug fiend, just in case you were wondering. Amazing.


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9. Blue is the Warmest Colour - That girl’s eye keeps looking right at me. And so is her hair. Magic.


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8. The Wolf of Wall Street - Holy fuckity fuck, they managed to freeze-frame a scene from the movie which sounds super lazy and stupid but fuck NO, this is fucking awesome and rad. Makes me wanna watch this again!


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7. The Great Gatsby - The movie was bland, but the art direction was magic. MAGIC! Sorta like this poster. Kinda 2D but it’s also unbelievably intricate and cool. Art deco for the win.

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6. Upstream Colour - Let’s come to a consensus: this poster is intriguing as fuck. Why are these people in the bathtub? WHY!????!!!!! I wanna know more.


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5. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Ben Stiller as Walter Mitty in this series of fantastical situations are really well done. Beauty in simplicity.


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4. Nymphomaniac - These character posters for Nymphomaniac are catching everyone at Orgasm o’clock. Pushing all boundaries while not being trashy. Spicy!



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3. The Wolverine - The sumi ink gives us claws, muscles and hair. So, you know, Hugh in all it’s wolfy-glory. Texture-y and all kinds of awesome. We will forgive them for the QR code.


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2. Pacific Rim - Didn’t see this, but maybe I should have. This is what COOL looks like: illustration and destruction and colours and robots!!!!!!!!


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1. You’re Next - Here’s something we can all agree on: this poster is fucking ridiculously awesome. Floor plans never scared me but then this gem came around. 



—- 10 WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2013

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10. R.I.P.D - They sure are running out of ideas for movies, but this isn’t about that. This is about the design. But sorry dudes, this is kinda stoopz. Those shiny guns ain’t foolin’ nobody,


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9. Admission - Tina Fey is cool, but sometimes she makes mistakes, just like the rest of us. And sometimes she comes across as unfunny, too, just like the rest of us.


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8. The Hangover Part III - Get it? It’s a spoof of a Harry Potter poster. Trying too hard. Hate it. Lame.
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7. As Cool As I Am Claire Danes was clearly too busy playing crazytown on Homeland and didn’t have time for a proper photoshoot. Why is everyone looking in a different direction?!!!!!!!!


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6. Delivery Man - Shrug-off, Vince. And stop making the same fucking movie every year. 


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5. Don Jon - Joseph Gordon-Levitt is channelling his best Renée Zellweger with his squinty eyes, but that’s actually NOT the worst part of this poster. Just look at it! 


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4. The Counsellor - I guess they missed the deadline for making a proper poster so they came up with the ’I don’t give a shit’ freeze-frame collage. Wow, good job!


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3. The Last Exorcism Part II - Well, they lied. I thought the first movie was The Last Exorcism. I guess they meant to say The Second-to-Last Exorcism. Okay, cool…. So I get the yoga-bend #2 for the poster above, but it’s forced and NOT scary. Just fucking weird and ugly.


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2. The Heat- Sandy and Melissa looking ghost-faced, and photoshopped to the fucking tits. Speaking of body parts, what happened to Melissa McCarthy? This is so bad.


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1. Movie 43 - First, congrats to you, casting director, for getting everyone in the world in this movie. But seriously you guys, what the fuck is this neon mess? It’s hurting the only real eye I have left. Not sure what’s going on: typography, head shots and vagina writing. It’s all just wrong and I have a headache.


So, what do you think yo!!? Did I get it right?

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Mar
12th
Wed
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10 BEST BOOK COVERS OF 2013

Some people said to never judge a book by its cover, but since none of those people are here right now I’m gonna do it anyway. Let’s take a look at what my made list of the best book covers last year. Ready, set, read:


—- 10 BEST BOOK COVERS OF 2013

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10. Actors Anonymous by James Franco - Looks like Hollywood will make you famous and kill you it’s awesome.


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9. The Stud Book by Monica Drake - You can’t really go wrong with bunnies, ever. This is so basic but I love this so much.

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8. In the Night of Time by Antonio Muños Molina - This cover messes with my mind and I like it.


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7. The Teleportation Accident by Ned Beauman - The action of teleportation portrayed via a static book cover. So good.


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6. The Dinner by Herman Koch - Something wicked happened at the dinner said above and I want to find out more. Don’t you? Heads will roll!


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5. The Dark Path by David Schickler - I have a feeling typography made out of rosaries is frowned upon by the Catholic church because they always find something wrong with everything. But this is rad and perfect, amen.


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4. The Center of the World by Thomas Van Essen - Gotta give the designer of this cover a shout out for fucking with alignment and creating magic. Brilliant cover.


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3. Below by Meg Mckinlay - I’m scared just by looking at this. I want to know more.


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2. Birds Flock Fish School by Edward Carson - BirdsOnBirdsOnBirds.


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1. Needs Improvement by Jon Paul Fiorentino - If this super rad cover is any indication of what kind of content is inside, then I guess we should all go buy this book right now! I fucking love this.

The end.

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Mar
7th
Fri
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10 BEST AND WORST LOGO CHANGES OF 2013

A bunch brands had a change of heart this past year and ended up breaking up with their old logos. Out with the old, in with the new.

But break-ups are tough, man! Some came out on top, and some were headed for a full-blown design meltdown! Let’s take a look at the best and worst logo changes of 2013:



—- 10 BEST LOGO CHANGES OF 2013

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10. Royal Canadian Mint - That’s some hella coinage in that new maple leaf. It’s kinda fun and way less stuffy than the old logo. But I don’t like how the name is left to the side, creating two elements side by side. Maybe I don’t like this as much as I thought I did :/


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9. Vevo - New Vevo logo looks he just saw his favourite video and seems to be having the time of his life, unlike old Vevo logo who just looks stuck in a stiff and geometric world of no-fun land!


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8. Mall of America - Old Mall of America was dingy, dated and sooo 80’s. New Mall of America is fun, less patriotic and modern. This logo is gonna make you buy stuff!


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7. Cystic Fibrosis UK - Awareness for these kind of organizations is always low. This new logo activates the ‘is’ and extends the logo with a series of statements, making everyone always aware of who they are, what they’re doing and how they’re doing it. So good!


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6. Opera Australia - This is probably the best example of initials used in a logo I’ve seen! Logo has a beginning/middle/end, just like the the opera, yo!


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5. Parc olympique - Pardon mon amour but that old logo was never a logo to begin with. New logo is simple as simple can be, but it’s probably just what it needed. Simple to the rescue, again!


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4. The Bay - Props to The Bay Hudson’s Bay for all of a sudden becoming relevant and cool again. Even though the new logo is a bit of a recycle, it’s looking a lot more interesting than the old one. They’re looking classy as fuck. Way to go.


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3. The Why? Foundation - This foundation was created by a cancer survivor and the logo is play on WTF which is essentially telling cancer to go fuck itself. It’s a delicate subject but for foundations like this, you need to be in people’s faces. Bonus points if you look good doing it.


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2. Goal - Old logo was a corporate orgasm, with a lame and generic icon, name, URL and tagline all encompassed into a gigantic ugly logo. Gross! The new logo may look really obvious, but it’s executed really well. And they even used the ‘TM’ as a ball. Major win.



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1. Boom - This company changed their name, and created a fun vertically-written logo, which is rare to see. But this is the most fun logo I’ve seen all year. Look at it, it’s so fun! Boomshakalaka!



—- 10 WORST LOGO CHANGES OF 2013

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10. Moleskine -  The addition of that 3x3 thing is a complete waste of everyone’s time. Doesn’t add anything so why the fuck do it?

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9. Iberia - The letters of the new logo seem to be bursting out in the middle. This was a lame attempt at trying to modernize the logo, but it just feels like a generic downgrade.


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8. Ernst & Young - I keep reading this as EW. Like Jimmy Fallon Skit EW. Also reminds me of YP, or the yellow pages. Also EW.


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7. Country Music Association - Hey y’all, the CMA went all corporate on us. Boring. Can somebody point out what part of the new logo resembles country music? Bring back the old one!


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6. Bing - Oh Microsoft, what the fuck are you doing? That boomerang is bad, looks like a cone-boob from Caesar’s Palace. The font is generic and just bad. And now I’m sleepy.


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5. The Vitamin Shoppe - I hate everything about this: the lower case of ‘the’, that stupid yellow ‘V’ and the different weights of the type. It’s better than the old logo, but that’s not saying much either.


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4. Pearle Vision - Hooters!!! All I see in that new logo are the fucking hooters. Them hooters looking straight back at me!

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3. The Ringling - Wow, that new logo sure makes me wanna visit this museum… NOT. Stuffy, boring, old. I rather be a pen salesman for the rest of my life than look at this ever again.


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2. American Society of Furniture Designers - Let’s hope these fools don’t design furniture as bad as that tacky new logo.


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1. Yahoo! - New font. Is ugly. Ugly font. New font is fucking ugly. They also added a shadow inside the letters. Not sure how you make an ‘upgrade’ feel so dated and boring. The old logo was fun. That new piece of shit is just bad!

That’s it for this week! More lists coming next week! Come back, k?

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