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BEST AND WORST BOOK COVERS OF 2012

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:22:00 -0800

After roaming the aisles of a few bookstores and sifting through a shit-ton of bestsellers list, I’ve narrowed down my picks for best and worst book covers of last year.

This is often my most dreaded entry because I am not the most avid book reader (gasp!), however, I often find some sweet little gems within. Here’s my best/worst list TRL countdown style:

—- 5 BEST BOOK COVERS OF 2012:

5. Kingdom Come by J.G. Ballard - That kaleidoscopic eye thing in the middle keeps staring at me, but that’s cool because I keep looking right back.

4. Eight Girls Taking Pictures by Whitney Otto - Super (8) clever.

3.5 Cinder by Marissa Meyer - Cinderella went all fembot on us. Fine by me!

3. All Men Are Liars by Alberto Manguel - Old timey illustration with an interesting ribbon design. I like.

2. Bloodland by Alan Glynn - There’s nothing more static than a book cover, but the position of every single of element on this cover makes it look like it’s moving. Good photography. Good layout. Just good everything.

1. El Asesino Hipocondriaco by Juan Jacinto Munoz Rengel - Oh shit, how fucked up is this? I guess I cheated by including a foreign book cover, but this is so good it hurts.

—- 5 WORST BOOK COVERS OF 2012:

5. Incarnate by Jodi Meadows - This is making me really nauseous. So much wrong going on all at once.

4. Breasts by Florence Williams - Look at this lame cover, it’s like a lame boob joke.

3. Crewel by Gennifer Albin - Why you gotta go put every colour on a cover like that! Unhealthy mix of colours. Also, the spelling of everything on the cover (including the author’s name) is annoying. Jennifer with a G!!!!?????!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

2. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi - Look, it’s that hideous purple/blue tint used in book covers to convey mood. SICK! This is pretty ugly. The photoshop is well done, but everything else is making me cringe. Look at the crossed-out ‘my touch is lethal’…. Um, no.

1. Privacy by Garret Keizer - I expected to see a shadow on that face peeking through, but they left it out because they suck at photoshop. Just bad. Not inspiring nor clever.

BEST AND WORST LOGO CHANGES OF 2012

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 19:06:00 -0800

Ah, logo changes! You’re the most fun way to gamble with your company’s money! Easiest way to throw away millions of dollars worth of brand equity out the window if it doesn’t go well foooo sho! Good for you guys.

My picks may entice some disagreements, which is fine, as long you understand that if I agreed with you when you think I’m wrong, then we’d both be incorrect.

Wow, that was deep. Here they are:

—- 5 BEST LOGO CHANGES OF 2012:

5. Twitter - Thank god they ditched that dated-looking-bubbly wordmark for the bird. You know you’re taking over the world when you’re able to ditch your name completely and have a symbol instead.

4. Say Media - By far the best use of a serif font in a new logo, which isn’t saying much because they are few and far between these days. Also, clever use of quotations. I’m sold!

3. DC Comics - It’s bold. It’s fresh. It’s a page flip!!!!!!!!!! So good. I love this one!

2. Bookworld - Everything about this logo makes perfect sense. Thank god that wonky ‘w’ from the old logo is gone. Long live the power of negative space.

1. New Zealand Antartic Research Institute - Definitely the coolest (!!!!) use of gray I have ever seen. Also, the best use of a square, like, ever. Good job!

—- 5 WORST LOGO CHANGES OF 2012:

5. Arby’s - They 3D’ed that penis-looking hat, but they forgot to do the same to that terrible fat-looking font. Tasteless!

4. Czech Republic - This horrible pun-ny logo to promote tourism in the Czech Republic went all social media on us, and the result is terrible. Insulting to anyone with taste.

3. Comcast - For those who can’t tell, NBC is blowing huge amounts of money on an unnecessary rebrands. Stop it! The old one was way, way, way better.

2. Stedelijk Musem - Never been, and now I don’t think I wanna go. Using typography to illustrate more typography is never a good idea.

1. eBay - The old logo certainly needed an update, and by update, I didn’t mean making it completely bland, boring and lame. And I miss the overlay.

BEST AND WORST ALBUM COVERS OF 2012

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:41:00 -0800

Your CD cover flow interface on your iPod is probably the first and last place you get to see album covers these days. So let’s give them some attention before they peace-out just like CD themselves!

Once a year, I get to a judge a record by its cover, and here’s my mix tape of best and worst CD covers of last year. Start with the good, end with the bad. Enjoy!

—- 5 BEST ALBUM COVERS OF 2012:

5. Best Coast, The Only Place - A bear hugging his own state. Sold! How super awesome.

4. The Hives, Lex Hives - The bodies spell out through a shadow, an old trick, but still pretty eye-catching.

4. Ellie Goulding, Halcyon - Hair curl. Done.

2. Kanye West, G.O.O.D. Music: Cruel Summers - A bit of a visual sequel to Watch the Throne, but that’s okay, because that was a great cover, and this is even better. So good!

1. Madonna, MDNA - Look, they auto-tuned the cover, too! It’s a pill-popping, drug-induced, lenticular-3D shot of Madonna that actually makes her look good. Almost forgive her for the awful content within. Great job, team!

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—- 5 WORST ALBUM COVERS OF 2012:

5. Ke$ha, Warrior - Kesha-dollar-sign knows how to write a catchy tune, but she sometimes comes across as purely disgusting and trash bag-gy (as seen in above cover). The colours and typography are actually pretty good, but their combination is making me dizzy. Needs a shower, sorta like her.

4. Kreayshawn, Somethin’bout Kreay - Somethin’ supah uglay about this.

3. Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday Roman Reloaded - This is such a joke. I don’t get any part of it. Neon nightmare. Make it stop!

2. Battles, Gloss Drop - These guys made my list last year, and now they are back with a sorta-sequel on this Remix album, which is so beyond gross and weird, it’s just bad. Maybe there is a reason for this disaster, but I’m too turned off to care.

1. Keyshia Cole, Woman to Woman - No. No and Fuck No.

BEST AND WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2012

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 06:53:00 -0800

The time of year for hatin’ and luvin’ and ramblin’ is here! My retrospective 2012 posts begin now, starting with some fave (and not so fave) movie theather eye candy.

I’m going to keep my inner movie critic away as I look past content and analyze only the art direction, style and design of the posters of the following incredible (and god-awful) movies. Let’s see what movies managed to grab my attention (even if just for a second), and which ones made me happy to have only one functioning eye.

—- 5 BEST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2012:

5. Sound of My Voice – Look, it’s a poster that makes you stop and actually read. Imagine that! The wrinkly/folded look gives it mystery. I feel weird just looking at it, so yes, I can’t stop looking.

4. Men In Black 3 – The logo-mosaic effect has been done many times before, and although it feels really cluttered, it caught my eye. Poster works best when looked at a distance (which works with that whole Black Suits Comin’ xtick), somewhat just like the movie, which works best when not looked at at all. Bam!

3. The Master - What’s going on here? The wine is outside the bottle. I don’t really get it, but it also totally makes sense. Right? I’ll definitely drink to this!

2. The Cabin in the Woods - Although the floating house/rubiks cube poster is just as awesome, this poster is that much better. That twisted 4D house represents the amazingness this horror-comedy-twisty-turny movie is perfectly. It’s not your average slasherfest poster, for your not-so-average slasherfest movie.

1. The Man with the Iron Fists - Remember this movie? Me neither! But this illustration with this mix of bloodshed and butterflies is my pick for the year’s best. Beauty!

___________________________________________________________________

—- 5 WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2012:

5. The Avengers - So you knew you’d be making a gadzillion dollars, but you couldn’t afford a real photoshoot? The dudes at Paramount opted for a lazy and cluttered collage straight out of the movie! Did it really matter? NO. But it certainly hurts to look at. EDIT!

4. Fun Size - Hey guys, have you heard of something called perspective? Check out the pathway behind the kids on the sidewalk leading to the house, it’s wrong! It’s way too slanted. Which brings me to my next point, that fucking baby is the sharpest thing on the poster. And the guy on the far left is basically a cut-out of a magazine. Photoshop at its absolute fucking worst!

4. The Watch - Got an Idea? Got a better poster? (ps. Vince Vaughn, go to bed.)

2. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II -We get it, a bunch of horny book nerds turned this franchise into a money machine! Now spend it on a real photoshoot without the horrible photoshop.

1. The Devil Inside - Please tell me that’s not an actual person. I guess it’s supposed to scary, but that man-nun just looks like a tranny! Also, true events? Really? Do you want me to vomit in your face? What a scam! Absolute insult, at the highest level.

So, which one is bedroom-wall worthy? Which one is going to the shredder?

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL SAYS ADIEU TO IRIS

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:11:00 -0800

So THIS is happening this weekend:

SHOW CLOSES JAN 19! Huh?! WHY!!!!!???? That’s fucking insane!

IRIS is Cirque du Soleil’s first resident show in Los Angeles, a $100 million production that premiered in September 2011. It’s hosted at the Dolby Theatre, formerly known as the Kodak Threatre (you know, where they hold the Academy Awards every year). Here’s the kick-ass poster:

So good! They also spent $40 million just to update the theater so it could host the show under a 10-year contract. And now 500 performances/16 months later, it’s over. Shame! What the fuck went wrong?

I got to watch IRIS back in November 2011. It was magical and amazing. And trust me, I’ve seen pretty much every Cirque du Soleil show, and I would say most of their recent shows are NOT very good. So please take my word when I say IRIS is jaw-dropping! To see it close so early really pisses me off.

The show was supposed to turn the seedy part of Downtown Hollywood around. I guess the area has been pretty dirty and gross for a while. Someone figured a Cirque du Soleil show would do the job (not to mention a perfect place for a cinema-inspired show), but now it’s closing due to low ticket sales. But DUH, of course it’s closing, people from LA or people who go to LA aren’t theatregoers. They go for other shit, like surfing and Disneyland and cocaine and stuff.

Sad thing is, this is the 5th Cirque show to close in the past year. Lots of people are losing their jobs! That can’t be good! These four shows have recently closed:

Goodbye, Circuses. You’ve had a good run, except nobody wanted to watch you!

Every show closed due to low demand. I remember when Cirque shows were all the rage. NO MOH! The japan earthquake/tsunami led to the closing of ZED at Tokyo Disney. ZAIA closed in Macau, China, after a 3.5 year run because nobody gave a shit. VIVA ELVIS was a tribute show with more dance than acrobatics (and probably got eaten alive by the other better Cirque shows in Las Vegas). SALTIMBANCO retired after being around since 1992.

I’ve seen SALTIMBANCO and VIVA ELVIS. SALTIMBANCO certainly felt dated, while VIVA ELVIS was more of an acquired taste (much like Elvis’ music) and felt a bit lazy.

I personally think they majorly fucked up with VIVA ELVIS. They didn’t try hard enough and ended up making a mediocre show. Very dance-based, not so much a circus. If anything, Las Vegas is the perfect place for an Elvis tribute show. No location problem here (unlike IRIS) and still, it bombed!

VIVA ELVIS closed because it wasn’t very good. People expected more from Cirque, especially a Vegas Cirque show. They want stuff to loose their shit over! And if you aren’t giving it to them in that department, the show better be fucking beautiful, much like Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE show, based entirely on music from The Beatles. It isn’t full of crazy stunts, but it’s a pretty good looking show. VIVA ELVIS was cool, some parts amazing, but overall, lackluster.

However, there isn’t much of a pattern here: IRIS was amazing and it closed. Viva Elvis was crap and it closed. I heard both ZED and ZAIA were great, and again, they closed. And while CRISS ANGEL’s BELIEVE show is pure garbage, THAT somehow, is still playing! A bad show doesn’t mean it will close, and an amazing show doesn’t mean it will live forever. Oh, such is life. There isn’t a perfect formula.

And one more thing, I just watched Cirque du Soleil’s AMALUNA this past weekend in Vancouver:

This is Cirque du Soleil’s newest show. Super girly. The storyline is vaguely based on an island with a bunch of acrobatic goddesses. Um, okay.

Is it good? Not really. Is it going to close? Probably not, because touring shows always make money. They come to people instead of the other way around. Their limited run in cities all over the world means people can’t (and won’t) wait around to see it. They must buy a ticket before the show packs up and leaves. Urgency = ticket sales. Good for them! But at least show us you’re worth the $150-dollar ticket!

With that said, I certainly think they fucked up yet again with AMALUNA. It was an insane amount of lost opportunity. While one or two acts felt fresh and unlike anything I’ve seen before. It also felt cheesy and underwhelming at parts. They could have pushed the envelope on this one. But they didn’t. COME ON, CIRQUE, get it together.

Anyway, enough ramble. My point is, IRIS is probably the most magical show I’ve seen in a long time. The soundtrack by Danny Elfman is fucking genius. And it’s upsetting to see it go. Hopefully they’ll find it a new home soon. Or at least give me a sequel, yeah?

Later, yo! In motion we trust!

THE END IS NEAЯ. #APOCALYPSMAS

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 06:00:00 -0800

Remember the last holiday card you received? ME NEITHER. That’s because they all sound the same. They’re all meaningful, heart-warming and you know, nice. ZZZzzz.

But with the end of Mayan Calendar coming up on December 21, we’re about to blow up into a cosmic storm of hellfire. So, why not tell people how you really feel before we all depart into, um, December 22? Better honest, than sorry!

Introducing: Apocalypsmas Greetings Cards, by your friends at Rethink! That’s right, it’s time to send a festive farewell.

See, Mayan-rock-countdown and everything. Get ready. Merry Apocalypsmas

Okay, so my amazeballs partner Morgan Tierney and I were given this project and basically ran with it to the darkest realm possible, just because we could. This became our baby (from hell).

The original idea began small but it grew so far into outer space, we had to pull it back into something more achievable. Oh, and we were on a tight deadline. I guess we couldn’t really postpone the Apocalypsmas. We may or may not have felt like quitting life altogether.Either way, the Mayan overlords sure as hell wouldn’t like that. So we kept going (and going) and what you see is the collaborative effort of a lot of people at Rethink. Like, a small village.

The idea is simple: let it all out before we all say peace-out! You can say something nice or something naughty. We even made it easy for you to write a message by using our patended Spide Sliders™ (left to right measures the level of naughty and nice). And if you’re feeling extra sassy, you can even write your own message:

Then, because no Christmas is complete without Santa, we asked the big guy himself to hand deliver your card to your (loved) one. Best of all, Santa has several video messages, ranging from mean to really mean, so your greeting is always accompanied by a different level of Apoca-Santa drunkness:

And, we even made t-shirts so we can depart in style.

Get ready to die Mayan!

See you on December 22.

THE NEW AMERICAN HORROR STORY POSTERS ARE KILLIN' IT!

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 09:23:00 -0700

If you’ve never seen American Horror Story, you probably sleep better at night. Good for you!

If you have, you know AHS is actually really scary and way dirtier than you’d think. Season 2 is set in the 60’s in a mental institution with some of the same actors from Season 1, who play completely different characters. While I haven’t seen it yet, these four promotional posters are compelling, weird and totally killin’ it (PUN!) and making me wish I did.

Art direction bow to the Art Direction Gods! Check it out:

So that black nun sees the heavenly lights and goes to heaven, while the creepy arachnid-looking-ghoul below just left it and is obviously disturbed. Sorry, God!

More crazy nun-wardrobe action. This time she’s in a forest dropping bloddy bodies and looking like a full witch. Um, okay, cool!

There she is again! This bitch is going to give me nightmares for a while. She must be Rubberman 2.0. I really hope she is!

Okay, this one is obviously the most fucked up poster of them all. The nun-woman is now drowned in milk (?) inside a crazy straitjacket-type bed/coffin, trying to come right out of it and scare the fuck out of all of us. Okay, I get the symbolism. It’s totally a vagina and you guys are more fucked up than I thought.

I told you this show was dirty! Happy Halloween!

(20)12 BEST AND WORST OLYMPIC LOGOS

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 20:47:00 -0700

I’ve been on an Olympic-sized hiatus (due to work, stuff and life), so I figured the best way to get back into things is to talk about what’s super hot right now. And no, I’m not talking about Big Brother. I’m talkin’ about the Olympics, you silly bubba.

Gold medals, world-records, controversies, and the ultra hot divers aside, let’s talk about what really matters: the best and worst Olympic logos of the past little while, summer AND winter - so nobody gets left behind!

—- 6 WORST OLYMPIC LOGOS:

6. Lake Placid, USA, 1980 (Winter) - So a house (?) by Adidas (!) with a chimney (?) is underwater?! Is this what I’m seeing? Thanks, Tsunami!

5. Vancouver, Canada, 2010 (Winter) - I’ve always wanted to like this, but I still don’t. It’s like a pride-flag-hockey-goalie-Inukshuk, and that’s a problem.

4. Nagano, Japan, 1998 (Winter) - It’s a flower! It’s a bunch of snowboarders! It’s a bunch of weird shapes and shadows! No, no and no.

3. Moscow, Russia, 1980 (Summer) - Red is Russia’s thing. Alright, cool! But then you get horrible alignment with the type and all those lines look too Empire State to me. And there’s a weird ‘c’ just hanging out over there.

2. California (!), USA, 1960 (Winter) - Remember when the Olympics were hosted… in a state? Me neither!!!! Also, I think that thing is supposed to be a star? Also, this is really ugly.

1. Lillehammer, Norway, 1994 (Winter) - So I’ve forgiven most of the logos prior to the 1960’s beacause things were just different back then. But come on, this hideous piece of shit is just bad, and done in the early 90’s!!!! Also, not sure what that thing is, and best of all, it’s WAVING! HUH?! And I get the snowflakes, but come on! Does this mean we should we also have a sun in any Summer Olympics logo???!!!! Shut up.

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—- 6 BEST OLYMPIC LOGOS:

6. Montreal, Canada, 1976 (Summer) - I think this was the last year where the logo could touch and become a part of the Olympic Rings (rules changed after). Good thing while it lasted, because this logo is super slick and super cool. One colour, one stroke weight. SO GOOD!

5. Mexico City, Mexico, 1968 (Summer) - Mexico (City) hosted the ‘68 Olympics, and it makes a pretty cool arrangement with the Olympic rings. I never want to look away. It’s way beyond ‘68, and amazing.

4. Munich, Germany, 1972 (Summer) - Kaleidoscopic fun at its best. It’s making me dizzy, and I like it.

3. Athens, Greece, 2004 (Summer) - The games went back to the place where they started: we get an old meets new, classic meets modern logo. It’s timeless, and that’s the point. Really nice!

2. London, England, 2012 (Summer) - Am I the only person who likes this? Yes. Is it trying to be too cool? Yes. Does it look fresh? Yes. Are you ever going to forget this? NO! See, what I mean!? If I’d agree with whoever hates this logo, then we’d both be wrong. ;)

1. Torino, Italy, 2006 (Winter) - Maybe a little futuristic and a bit too cool, but that’s what the Winter Olympics needs - a dose of awesome. This does the job. Dynanism (it’s a word…?) mixed with icy-cold-icicle-mountain-where-bigfoot-lives-goodness. Favezies!

MAXIMUM BAD-BREATH PARANOIA BEGINS!

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:25:00 -0700

Tic Tac has just called out (gasp!) people on their bad breath in the best way possible. Check out the ‘La pire haleine du monde’ (The Worst Breath in the World) video below:

Such a good take to the whole stunt/viral video thing AND it transformed something as fucking annoying as flash-mobs and made it cool and not stupid or lame or at all insulting to the human race. Freshness all around! The video went viral even before it was released, but obviously it was leaked on purpose, duh.

The human-domino-bad-breath-collapse was created by Ogilvy Paris, which is the same place yours truly interned at back in the Fall of 2009 (self plug #1). This Tic Tac campaign also reminds me of another world-takeover campaign by Ogilvy Paris - Perrier’s ‘Melting’ campaign (which I actually got to work on) (self plug #2). In that, the world is fucking melting, and Perrier will save your life:

Long live the hyperbole!

DECAL THIS!

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 14:56:00 -0700

Remember when Lost was the only show in the universe? Now you can get Dharma Initiative Macbook decals and become a Lostie all over again:

Now your life can officially begin.

Altogether now: ‘FLASHSIDEWAYYYYYSSSSSS’!!!!!!!!!

UNIVERSAL GOES GOOGLE MAP SATELLITE-Y

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 09:39:00 -0700

Universal Studios is turning 100 this year, so they’ve updated their animated globe logo again! Like, for the 7th time! This new version has detailed satellite imagery as seen from a clear night in space.

The soundtrack has a slight new arrangement. The ‘UNIVERSAL’ wordmark is fucking massive, they really 3D’d that shit to the max. As soon as the ‘U’ comes around the corner it’s a full alien-spaceship attack!! The earth gets dark and city lights switch on as the ‘U’ appears. It looks really good! But then ’ A Comcast Company’ appears and all magic is lost. Those dudes put me on hold for 2 hours once.

Watch the animation below to see previous logo animations, the new one (done by NZ-based Weta Digital) starts at the 0:39 mark:

Now make me a Jurassic Park 4, you fuckers!

RETROSPECTIVE '11 PART 4: BEST/WORST BOOK COVERS OF 2011

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:48:00 -0800

I’ve been sorting through hundreds of book covers for part 4 (!!!) of my best and worst list. Yay for you, Zzzzzzz for me! I’ve found some really amazing little gems, and some truly disgusting trash.

They say don’t judge a book by it’s cover but I did, soooo, ‘they’ can just go fuck right-off. Here are my favourite and least favourite covers of 2011:

—- 5 BEST BOOK COVERS OF 2011:

5. Life Kills by Miles Vertigan - You’d think that by using solid colors, this would end up looking flat, but it doesn’t. It even looks like it’s moving! A little bit cluttered, but it’s awesome. Vector magic!

4. The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer - The blur tool went to heaven, and this is what happened. So good!

3. Puppet by Kenneth Gross - Simple is always better, suckas.

2. The Innovator’s Cookbook by Steven Johnson - The use of real typography makes this cover 3D (and you don’t even need silly glasses). Tactile art, doing its tactile art goodness.

1. The Art of Immersion by Frank Rose - Yeah, this totally gives me a headache, but so does the internet, man! It hurts to look, but I also can’t look away. A+

—- 5 WORST BOOK COVERS OF 2011:

5. Sugar In My Bowl by Erica Jong - I get it, it’s a vagina bowl with candy in it. Okay, great. But then you stab me further with that stoooopid real women/real sex line that makes me wish I could choke on my own saliva. Instead, I just hope you drown drinking your next Cosmo. BAM!

4. Reamde by Neal Stephenson - There’s some interesting use of typography, misspelling and hyphenation going on here. But too bad it’s just ugly and lazy. And not at all clever.

3. Now You See Her by Joy Fielding - I understand this book is for all them old ladies laying at the beach with their big sun hats. But there’s a nauseating mix of typography and reflections that really bother me. Old ladies deserve better, you guys!

2. The Selected Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer - This is just a photograph with a title at the bottom, not a cover. Zzzzzzzzzz.

1. Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor - I’m going to take an educated guess: the same person who came up with the vile name of this book probably also designed this cover. What the fuck is this? That mask - ahhhh! That ‘daughter’ font - double ahhhhhhhhhh! Grosssssss!

Go ahead, agree with me!

RETROSPECTIVE '11 PART 3: BEST/WORST IDENTITY CHANGES OF 2011

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:56:00 -0800

I guess some big-time corporate suits had a change of heart and decided to change up their brands a little bit. This meant great things for those on my best list, but it meant vomit-bag-necessary for those on my worst. All that brand equity… gonezo! But it’s not like they didn’t spend quadjillons of money getting to that point anyway…. RIGHT!

Here are my best and worst 5 identity changes of the year:

—- 5 BEST IDENTITY CHANGES OF 2011:

5. Peru - That swirl is making me do backflips and is making me wanna go to Peru, like, now. Improvement x 6000.

4. Starbucks - The mermaid turned green and they dropped the Starbucks name. I’m guessing they’ll be more comfortable selling more than coffee now. Just a quick world takeover, no big deal. But it’s all good, everybody can still recognize the shit of that logo with or without a name. An obvious next step in total coffee domination. Extra-hot, man!

3. SFDW - Not sure what that old doodly mess was, but the purply smokey typography of the new logo is all kinds of awesome. No more red pencil crayon done by my nephew.

2. Google Chrome - 3D is over, man! If Google is going flat, you know that’s where it’s at! The old glossy logo was too Microsoft or Pokeman Ball for me. Not the look. The new matte logo is simpler, which makes way more sense for the amazingness that is Chrome.

1.TUL - TUL stands for Transport Urbain Lavallois. It’s a network of buses based in the Laval community in France. They bent the logo, which gives it movement. And it looks like it’s pointing at something, or it wants to go somewhere. So, take me with you, Tul Logo, because you’re awesome. Everything makes sense. A++

—- 5 WORST IDENTITY CHANGES OF 2011:

5. Much Music - I understand that Much plays everything but music these days, but it would be nice to have a little bit more music, a little less Easter.

4. Netflix - When Netflix split their business in two (streaming vs. DVD-by-mail) in September, Qwister became the name of the by-mail category. It’s a stupid first-thought name, with silly spelling, not to mention a strategy disaster. The logo isn’t totally gross, but everything else is.

3. Woodland Park Zoo - I keep wanting to read something in those zebra strips, but all we get is a stupid block of green. ‘Park’ looks to bold, ‘Zoo’ doesn’t need to be green. Bad emphasis on all the wrong elements.

2. Petco - So, if my amazing dog or cat or parrot or mouse or fishie or tarantula is sick AND dying, I shouldn’t go to Petco? Are you guys for real? This shit sucks! A lot!

1. JCPenney - So now it’s called JCP enney? Nice bold new logo, losers! This is horrible, and insulting. I can make gap-rebrand references but I’m not gonna. This is bad and boring, of the worst kind. Zzzzzz.

What’s your favourite? Or least favourite?

RETROSPECTIVE '11 PART 2: BEST/WORST ALBUM COVERS OF 2011

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:35:00 -0800

I’m guessing album covers don’t get as much credit as they should because we are such music thieves. And cuz of the shift to streaming. But then you look at how dull some of these covers are, all seems good again! Most covers have two categories: 1) i’m-too-cool-to-be-mainstream-so-I’m-fucking-weird and 2) i’m-too-famous-and-I-want-my-head-as-big-as-possible. They’re both ugly, and I’m calling them out!

With that said, some album covers are tastefully done, and also complement the music behind the cover. Here’s my countdown of the best and worst album covers of 2011:

—- 5 BEST ALBUM COVERS OF 2011:

5. Tinie Tempah, Disc-overy - The mixture of oil painting, illustration, photography and Star Wars makes me wanna be just like Tinie Tempah. I love this cover!

4. Bibio, Mind Bokeh - Bibio does a lot of fun electronic music. The album name is a Japanese word referring to the out-of-focus area of photography. Then you get the marriage of both in this super cool cover.

4. James Blake, James Blake - Take a listen to this guy’s voice. It’s nice, but weird. Just like this cover, which is 1 part nice, 2 parts creepy, and 50 parts awesome.

4. Oh Land, Oh Land - Something so cute, tactile and kaleidoscopic aboutHeidi Klum this album cover that is just really…cute!

1. ‘Lil Wayne, Tha Carter IV - Man, I don’t care how ugly you are as ‘Lil Wayne, but ‘Lil ‘Lil Wayne is all kinds of awesome, making it (seriously) my favourite cover of the year!

—- 5 WORST ALBUM COVERS OF 2011:

5. Limp Bizkit, Gold Cobra - It’s Limp Bizkit’s failed attempt at staying relevant, and they did so by putting the Kardashian sisters on it. But Khloe K wishes!

5. The Limousines, Get Sharp - Spit bubble? I guess green vomit was taken by The Exorcist, but seriously dudes… gross.

3. Drake, Take Care - Fine, I get the gold, but why the goblet? It’s a horrid photograph, too. And, are you praying? OPEN YOUR EYES!

2. Battles, Gloss Drop - What is going on here? Bubble gum? Silly string? Snot? Intestines? Aliens? My brain when it keeps starring at this ugly thing? Not cool, at all!

1. Lady Gaga, Born This Way - Gaga as a motorcycle/B-horror-movie-poster/, because she’s born this way, man! (!!!!????) F-off Lady Gags, you’re a stupid gimmick and this cover proves it. And stop dressing up as a chandellier, or the cable that holds it. For real.

Did I get it right?

RETROSPECTIVE '11 PART 1: BEST/WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2011

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 21:27:00 -0800

Yeah, YOU KNOW movies are getting ridiculously more insulting as the years go by, but who gives a fuck because we’re still going to them! But whatever man, somehow the movie studios still find amazing iconic imagery to sell their movies. Some succeed, others bomb. Some are conceptual, some just look cool.

I can’t hate if I don’t love, so I’m counting down the best and worst movie posters of 2011:

—- 5 BEST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2011:

5. Tree of Life - A cute and wrinkly baby foot lit by a Godly light intrigues the fuck out of me, what about you? I don’t even care this movie is 4 hours long, let’s watch it!

4. Carnage - It’s a movie about crazy parents with obvious mood swings, so somebody went fucking nuts with the photoshop hue tool. Colour-goodness!

3. Final Destination 5 - There’s nothing final about a movie with 5 sequels, but when you manage to make a 5th poster about the same subject matter look this amazing, I really hope they go for 10!

2. Insidious - Despite what you’ve heard, this isn’t the scary movie of all time. At all. But if you look at this poster, you’d be fooled, right? Cue a fucking violin!

1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - The more you stare at it, the better it gets and the more you discover. A+

—- 5 WORST MOVIE POSTERS OF 2011

5. Contagion - All fucking Gwynnie jokes aside, the yellow hue is nauseating, which I’m guessing is the point, but they should be trying to sell a movie, and not make me wish I never lived. Gross.

4. Just Go With It - Obviously Jenny Aniston is still making so much fucking money from her Rachel days, she doesn’t give a fuck what kind of garbage she’s in. Then you see this poster and realize, yes, I do hope the world ends in 2012.

3. Jack & Jill - Noooooooooo. Fuck you.

2. Zookeeper - Don’t make me vomit on your face, Kevin James.

1. New Year’s Eve - We get it, some producer put his rolodex into overtime and got everybody to be in this movie. He did, however, forget to call the other half of Lea Michele’s face. So much photoshop gone bad and gold gradients gone worse.

At least no floating photoshopped-heads in this pile!

What do you think?

10 SUPER COOL TV OPENING CREDITS

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:18:00 -0800

You know the shiteous TV opening credits from the 90’s? Thank god those are done! No more horrible show clips/flashing grins+winks/badly-edited swipes, dissolves and gradients/cheesy theme songs! (Yes, I’m talking to you, Full House!!) Goodbye, you ALL fucking suck!

Good for us, TV bosses have gotten over themselves and given us more elaborate, conceptual opening credits. Some also run very long (sorry, commercials, less time for you!) and some are just plain awesome.

Here’s a list of my favourites, in full Total-Request-Live-Countdown style:

10. FRINGE

If you still don’t know what this show is about, hey, I’m with you! The opening alludes to some nerdy sci-fi-x-files-non-sense, done in a cool sciency-lab-in-space sort of thing. I like it.

9. TWILIGHT ZONE

Voiceover AND music, on a scale from 1-10, at a non-exaggerated 350!!!! So good!

8. CHUCK

Imagine this show has almost been cancelled every year since it started! Boo! Good opening, though!

7. THE EVENT

This show got way too complicated, way too fast and it bombed even faster, shocker! But that’s what happens when you get shitty writers, writing even shittier storylines. The opening sequence, on the other hand, is amazing, and done perfectly to a beat. See, the people over at NBC aren’t complete morons:

6. UNITED STATES OF TARA

File this one under ‘I’, for ‘I’ve-seen-this-shit-before-in-a-Fergie-video’, but it’s still cute and well done:

5. MAD MEN

Advertising will totally rot your soul, it’s awesome!

4. RUBICON

Remember this? You don’t. Don’t try. It ran for like, ~~4 minutes~~ 12 episodes, and maybe 3 people (tops!) watched it. That’s why it’s no longer on AMC. But this opening credit montage is amazing. Bring it back!

3. AMERICAN HORROR STORY

This show will change your life. You’ll have nightmares and think RubberMan is chasing you, like, all the time. It’s awesome. Not sure how the same dude that created Glee (see: disaster) also thought this one up, but once Glee is cancelled we’ll have justice again. AHS, on the other hand, kills in every aspect, including this opening. Happy Sleeping!

2. DEXTER

This one is probably the most conceptual of the bunch. Just as amazing as the show itself. Avenging Angel Amazingness all-around!

1. LOST

Let’s be serious you guys!!! This is the ONLY show in the entire universe. TV doesn’t get any better than this, even though it sorta made no sense for, like, an episode or two. But who cares when an opening sequence is this cool, and it’s only 11 seconds long. WE’VE GOT TO GO BACK! WE’VE GOT TO GO BACK!

What do you think? Did I miss your favourite? Did you even notice these things existed? Set your DVRs!

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 23:28:00 -0800

A few days ago my phone suffered the drop of doom while I was riding crazy rollercoasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain is Los Angeles. That shit flew right out of my pocket on a ride that went upside 8 times. You say that sucks, but I say about fucking time. See you never, blackberry.

Let’s look back at my phone-losing situaysh and poke all sorts of fun at myself, and not just because I still had a blackberry. Leave it to my fellow Rethinkers to call it like is:

So I didn’t lose a shoe, but you get the point. I’m sure my bb is in a million pieces.

Here are more ~~Six Flags~~ Playland ad-goodness that sums up my day at Six Flags quite perfectly:

ONE WORD: X2!

GUERILLA DEJAVU

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:20:00 -0700

Of course advertising is supposed to be original and fresh, but soooooo sorry to say the following is neither. You know the internet? It’s a good place to start checking for already done ideas. Mega fail, and I’m calling you out right now.

Yo ad kids - if you use the medium as the message, make sure that your idea is very different otherwise you’re just a silly copycat. Your job description includes thinking after all! Get your long hours worth.

The following ambient/guerilla/stunt advertising are the same. THE SAME. And no, just because it happened in another country it doesn’t mean you get a free pass. ZzzzZZzzZZZ.

FOUNTAINS WITH BLOOD!!!! (AHHHH!)

A fountain of blood advertising the TV premiere of the movie Scream, on a New Zealand TV station, way back in 2000. Cool!

Another fountain of blood advertising the second season premiere of Dexter on Showtime. This happened all over the USA in the Fall of 2007. No longer cool, BECAUSE IT’S THE SAME THING.

Look!!! Another fountain of blood advertising the season 4 premiere of True Blood, this time in Romania, in 2011. Not even cool no more. Enough f’ing blood fountains.

ELEVATOR DOORS THAT CUT SHIT IN HALF!!!!

An elevator door cutting a dude in half, advertising Kill Bill Volume 2, first seen in 2004. Yeah, okay, cool, except I’m not sure who that dude is.

Another elevator door slices a lobster in half, advertising Kagatani Knives, seen in Japan in 2010. (Notice the perspective of the hand and knife is off). Kinda different, except it’s not different at all.

ELEVATOR DOORS OPENED BY HANDS!!!! (GET IT?!?!?!?!)

This elevator door is being opened by a muscle-head-douchebag, done for Gold’s Gym, seen in 2006 in the USA.

Look! Hands again! Elevator Doors again! But this one is advertising Superman Returns, seen in 2007, in Brazil. Same. Same. Same.

STEPS MADE OUT OF BOOKS!!!!

This idea done in 2008 promotes book donations in Greenville, SC, by making steps out of books, cuz reading takes you to the top, man.

But look at that, more steps, more books. But this time its for Universidad SEK, in Ecuador, which advertises their faculties. This idea was done in 2009. Copycat.

(And then there’s this, although it uses luggage instead of books, it was done by the exact same agency that did the first books-for-steps idea above. And best part is that, it was done, at the exact same time in 2008! Way to recycle one idea for two clients, you CHEAT!).

BUS SHELTERS MADE TO LOOK LIKE LIVING SPACES!!!!

This bus shelter is advertising British Gas and is heated by that faux fireplace and made to look like a living room. Cool, but looks too flat. It first appeared in 2004. Mmmmmkay.

This bus shelter is for IKEA, first seen in 2006, and transformed it by creating a living room out of IKEA products. This idea is super cool…

…until they repeated themselves 4 years later, in Paris, France, in 2010. You can’t recycle your own cool ideas because then they aren’t that cool anymore, YA!

And here’s another living room bus shelter, this time for the Simpsons movie, seen in 2007 in Germany. Yeah, it’s cute and all, but it’s been done. The Simpson Movie had a much better idea when they converted 7-Eleven’s across the country into Kwik-E-Marts.

Then there’s fucking flash mobs, which are annoying on its own (advertising related or not) and don’t even deserve a mention, let alone its own paragraph. Dishonorable mention examples can be seen here, here, here or here.

Keep it fresh, fools!

7-ELEVEN EAT THIS UP!

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 13:15:00 -0700

I almost never blogged about this and missed out on the greatest, most shameless self plug ever, but you’ll be glad to know that I didn’t. Earlier this summer I was named one of the Top 100 New Creatives as chosen by CMYK magazine. Cool.

Based out of the San Francisco area, CMYK publishes the largest showcase of emerging creative talent. The publication features work selected by industry professionals in art direction, copywriting, design, photography and illustration.

The magazine featured my 7-Eleven campaign from my student days at Miami Ad School in their 15th Anniversary Issue. It’s on newsstands now and should be for another few weeks. Hurry up and get it.

Here’s a little scoop on the execution: it’s all fucking real stuff. There is ZERO photoshop (okay, almost no photoshop). It was made entirely from real 7-Eleven products, including the hot dog, the slurpee and the nachos. It was executed on a budget of maybe about $8.00. The photography was all done by me.

There was a lot of trial and error, especially with the slurpee execution because that shit melts REALLY fast. All three executions were roughly the same size, 11x17. The Big Bite execution looks a bit gross, but it definitely looks way better than the real thing does at 7-Eleven.

The campaign also appeared in my portfolio, ADBuzz.com and Rethink’s website. Super cool! Let me know if you’ve seen it anywhere else.

You can see the entire 7-Eleven campaign here.

SEE YOU LATER MR. JOBS

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:14:00 -0700

Thank you for making my job so much easier, Mr. Jobs. This post is for you! You put a ding in the universe.

Here’s to the crazy ones.